Forgiveness

Are you full of anger and unforgiveness? Has someone hurt you so badly that you find it impossible to forgive? Why should you forgive those that have hurt and betrayed you?

Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the door to resentment and the handcuffs of hatred.  It is the supernatural power that breaks the chains of bitterness and brings joy that is unspeakable.  Forgiveness is the first step toward your spiritual, mental and physical health.  We can now prove that medically.  Dr. Caroline Leaf is a cognitive neuroscientist and has spent her whole career (over 30 years) studying the brain. She says that every 7 seconds your subconscious brain reruns its mental file and every 7 seconds you choose to either be angry, bitter or to forgive.  She goes on to say that when you are angry, bitter and resentful over a projected period of time it leaves a physical hole in your brain and the physical hole in your brain produces dementia and perhaps Alzheimers.  When you choose to think good thoughts your brain fires good electrons into your whole body and your body begins to heal.  Conversely, over a period of time if you think angry, hateful or vindictive thoughts your brain sends out a poisonous signal that destroys your body.  This is very scriptural and can be validated in Philippians 4:8.  Forgiveness is crucial to your mental, emotional and physical health. By not forgiving you are destroying your mind and your body. Unforgiveness is a prison you create for yourself.  Ephesians 4:23 tells us to be renewed in the spirit of our minds and by the word of God.

Most of the ground that Satan gains in the life of a believer is gained through the door of unforgiveness.  The Bible tells us in 2 Corinthians 2:10-11 that we “forgive to keep Satan from getting an advantage over us.”   Plus, you can’t get your prayers answered if you don’t forgive.  This is why God tells us to search our hearts for anyone that we harbor bitterness and anger toward. For most of us this is one of the hardest things we’ll ever do.  Our feelings falsely tell us that we must punish those who have hurt us.  Our feelings tell us that WE must vindicate all of the wrongs that have been done to us. But this is NOT God’s way. He wants to fight our battles for us because His ways are much superior to ours.  When we try to vindicate it on our own we end up hurting ourselves. Look at the state of our world today and you will see a string of nations that are full of bitterness and anger.  They do not trust God to vindicate them.  They are relying on their own self effort and strength which always results in defeat.

When someone hurts you, you need to be a lot more concerned by what they’re doing to themselves than what they’re doing to you.  God does not like it when people are unjust and unkind to His children.  This is why God tells us to pray for our enemies.  They are the ones that need the help.  The Bible tells us in Colossians 3:12-14 we must put on mercy.  In other words, we must make a choice to be merciful to those that have hurt us. We don’t have to FEEL like forgiving someone to do it.  Forgiveness first is an intellectual act of your will and then the emotion comes after the healing begins. We must remember that “hurting people hurt people.”  Mercy understands the “why” behind the“what.”  Legalistic people only look at what people do while God looks at their why. He looks at why they are behaving the way they are.  When we take a moment to think as opposed to reacting we realize that we all have a history and most of us have some sort of pain, hurt and suffering in our past.  People are the way they are for a reason.  We simply have not walked in other people’s shoes and do not know what they’ve been through.  When we take some time to pause and reflect on this it is easier to give others mercy.  Besides, none of are perfect and when we make mistakes we certainly expect and want others to be merciful to us.

Love and mercy are the central themes of Christianity. Look at how merciful Jesus was with His disciples.  Peter denied Jesus three times. Judas betrayed him for money. They fell asleep when He needed them the most.  Jesus showed them mercy because he knew they were afraid and he didn’t expect them to be perfect.  We will save ourselves a lot of grief if we’ll simply set the right expectations with people beforehand.  Go into relationships knowing that people have flaws. If you spend enough time with anyone you will see their weaknesses and must set your mind in advance to have a merciful attitude toward them. 

What are your expectations of people?  Do you accept people the way they are?  Do you try to change them to conform to your way of thinking and acting?  Only God can change people. You can’t change yourself.  People can’t change themselves. They may “try” in their own self effort to modify certain behaviors to please you but it will NOT last long term.  The more time we spend with people the more opportunity for them to hurt us…the more their flaws become apparent to us.  This is why the Bible tells us we must be hard to offend and easy to forgive.  In order words, to have good and lasting relationships we must ask God to help us be quick to forgive. You do yourself a favor when you choose to forgive.

Again, we cannot overemphasize this very important fact…unforgiveness can make you sick.  Proverbs 17:22 says a “merry heart doeth good like a medicine but a broken spirit drieth up the bones.”  Not forgiving someone will cause disease in your body because of the toxic chemicals that are released into your body as a result of negative emotions.  It blocks God’s blessings in your life.   A humble person knows what a mess they are and realizes how much they need the mercy of God.  Once we realize this it’s much easier to give mercy to others.  Yes, it’s hard.  It’s incredibly hard. This is why you need God’s help to do it.  When you do what’s right when you don’t feel like it that’s when you’re growing spiritually and that’s when you open the door for God to bless you.  As long as you strive to fight the battles on your own and vindicate your own injustices you are closing the door to God’s grace and power.  You have locked him out and now you’re on your own.  And that’s NOT a place you want to be.  Whether you admit it or not YOU NEED GOD every day, every minute, every second of your life.  He is your provider, your comforter, your vindicator…your Father. 

Search your heart today for anyone in your life that you hold bitterness and anger toward.  These negative emotions are hurting you emotionally, physically and spiritually.  Let it go!  Give it to God!  He can vindicate it much better than you can.  When you choose to forgive you tear down a great wall around your heart allowing God’s love and healing grace to flow throughout your life.  It is the greatest gift you will ever give to yourself. 

God Bless You,

In Christ, Sherry :-)