Don't Worry

Rita S.

It's really hard to try not to worry. I actually think it's impossible. I know because I tried not to worry my whole life. Well, for as long as I can remember. My father died of a sudden heart attack when I was 4 years old, and I believe as a result of losing him I turned to worry and anxiety. As a child, I actually had anxiety or panic attacks. I suppose I "grew out of that" by the time I was in high school, but I never ceased to worry. Most of my worrying had to do with concerns about health. If I had any symptom, no matter how mild, I would let my mind race to the worst possible scenario. I think by the time I got into my 20's, I graduated into full hypochondriac status (self diagnosed). It was such a state of bondage. Then in my late 30's, I had my two daughters. I was so busy I didn't have time to worry about myself. But...I did find time to worry, but now it was about my daughters! By this time, the internet and Google had become commonplace, and I am definitely one of those people who earned a "Google MD degree" online. I would spend hours on the internet researching everything from making your own baby food to what it means if a baby doesn't do a certain thing by a certain age. I was already exhausted from all the lack of sleep as a new mother, but adding all those hours of research and worry on top of it was too much.

Don't get me wrong, I was never depressed, my worry came from loving life and the people in my life so much that I was afraid I would lose it all. It was years after my father's death that I had this revelation. His sudden disappearance from my life shook my young world, and at that early age Satan used this loss to fill my head with lies that I, or one of my loved ones, would die a premature death like my father. So my life consisted of lows (when I was worried something was wrong with me) and highs (when I found out I wasn't going to die!)  Five years ago, I was having health symptoms that could have been consistent with MS. I think MS would be one of a hypochondriac's worst fears. Needless to say, when I heard the doctor say I should start testing to rule this disease out, it sent me into a worrying tailspin. This was the first time a doctor actually suspected I could have something seriously wrong with me, and my worry and anxiety rose to a new level!

Right about this time, I became friendly with Sherry since both of our daughters were on the volleyball team at the school they attended. Sherry and I became fast friends, and I started attending Bible study at her home. She recommended I read a book called "Unmerited Favor" by Joseph Prince. I devoured that book! Hearing the message of Grace was music to my ears! The words rung so true in my spirit, and as I read God's Word and Joseph's commentary about it I could physically feel anxiety leave my body and the peace of the Lord enter it. I was raised Catholic, and to be honest I never really read the Bible. I would listen to the priest say what was in the Bible, but I never read it myself. As I read "Unmerited Favor" and learned about how truly loved I am by God, and I felt compelled to read God's Word. Through Bible study at Sherry's, I learned about the power of words, and the power of declaring God's promises over your life. I learned and spoke so many healing scriptures over myself as I was tested for MS. The results of my brain MRI were unclear - it did show spots on my brain which according to the doctor could have been from previous minor strokes (we had no reason to believe I ever had a stoke), or they could have been from migraines I suffered, or they could have been MS lesions - and the only thing to do would be to wait for a year and "see what would happen."  He recommended we repeat the MRI in a year. If it was MS, symptoms would progress and the MRI would show more lesions in time.

If I had not been introduced to the Grace message and how God's will is undoubtedly for me to be healthy, healed and whole, I am not sure what would have happened to me after hearing that news at the doctor. However, by God's grace, I was already attending Bible study with Sherry and reading all about the wonderful plans God had to prosper me with. The power of life and death truly do lie in our tongue, and what we speak absolutely can change not only how we feel, but it can change our circumstances. As I felt symptoms in my body, I would fiercely battle against the fear rising up, and I would declare out loud that I was not sick and that I was healed by the stripes of Jesus. Over the next few months, the symptoms gradually faded as my confidence in the Lord's good plan for me increased, and I am happy to say it has been five years and all my symptoms have vanished! I never even went back for the repeat MRI and I can say there is rarely a day that thoughts of MS or other possible diseases come into my head! This is a COMPLETE 180 from the person I used to be. GOD IS SO GOOD!

I don't claim to understand it all, but what I do know for an absolute fact is that I lived about 40 years of my life in worry and anxiety, and since coming to know the Lord in a true and intimate way, I can say I now live my life in peace! That's not to say I never get worried anymore, but when I do, I know how to battle it! And really, it is the Lord's battle, and if I cast my cares on Him, knowing how much He loves me, peace inevitably pushes out any worry I may have been feeling.

I cannot overstate the importance is SPEAKING GOD'S WORD OVER YOUR LIFE. It is life changing and transformative! God has used Sherry Braswell to do an incredible work in me, and for that I will be forever grateful. No matter what  your struggle is, it is not to big for God! His name is above ALL NAMED THINGS. There is ALWAYS hope, even in what seems to be a hopeless situation. Miracles are real, and miracles are for today. It is not a mistake or a coincidence that you are reading my testimony. God wants you to know that He already knows what you are facing, and He is there to help you. You just need to believe in and receive his perfect love for you!! If He can take away my worrying and anxiety, He can do whatever it is you need too! GOD BLESS YOU!!!!

Rita

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